Three Points, or Maybe Four/ MS&T II

It will depend on how many I recall by the time I am done with this post.

1) I wrote 300 words this morning, moving right along with the Railhead story.

2) Where can I get one of those daily word count dealies that the Word Count Unioners all have on your pages?

3) You might wonder how I could be ranked so highly in my Shogun Wars posts and continually falling in the the link at the top of my page. The answer is that right now Shogun Wars has two games going: Genshu and Pheonix [sic]. Genshu is getting my main efforts, Pheonix [sic] is getting maintenance. Therefore I'm holding onto the top ten in Genshu and sinking like a stone in Pheonix [sic]. Perhaps the day will come when I do well in both. I'm not going to hold my breath.

4) Notice the nifty little music player to the right. I got it from my brother Zilla's new blog and loaded it with some of the music that I spoke of in my 25 album post a while back. If you haven't heard any of those songs I recommend taking a listen.

5) I finished The Dragonbone Chair. In update to my last post, I noticed that Binibak keeps dragging Simon along, but it is not because he is known to be the secret hier of the world, but because Binibak feels obligated to fulfill Dr. Morgenes request that he be looked after.

That's it for now. Write on.

R.

100 Word a Day Challenge

I've been reading about this challenge for several days and been wondering if I am up for the commitment. I still don't know, but I'd like to find out. Therefore, I am going to participate. I didn't want to post until I'd written something, and I got a little over-excited and did 320 words instead of a hundred, but hopefully I erred in the right direction. I will be writing some more short stories for now - still not ready to become immersed in the novel at this point, but I figure that as long as I'm writing, that is the important thing.

Tonight I worked on the intro to a story called Birthday at the Railhead, another Hobb in his youth story. So far I have the young lads crammed into a pickup throwing around some insulting banter. My brother Zilla might recall the real-life experience from which I'm pulling some of the setting for the story.

I feel like I am a fringer here not knowing anybody in the Union but Daeruin, but with any luck I will "airn" my place therein.

And a thank you to Ing for the kind words and quote over on Blog Ing. Write on.

R.

It can happen to anyone . . .

Even Riotimus. A moment of glory some time starting around 5am but definitely over by 8:30 caught forever by the handy snipping tool. You might also notice that we had three in the top twenty, a wonderful moment for the League.

R.

Shogun Wars 3/6/08

The League has 7 players in the top 100. It's true. If you don't believe me, you'll have to sign up and find out.

R.

MS&T I

For a long time while I was trying to get through school I have wanted to re-read Tad Williams' Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn trilogy. These are great books that take common fantasy concepts and smash them with a smithy's hammer. For those of you that are reading Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series, he claims that it was MS&T that renewed the belief that good adult fiction could be written today. I am going to try to post the occasional thought, quote, or insight from these books as I read them. I should have started doing this when I first cracked open volume I, The Dragonbone Chair, but I didn't, so you will get a couple of ideas crammed into one post. But who am I kidding - that is probably the way all of these posts will be.

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My first thought will be regarding the main protagonist, Simon. He is a dislikable young man. That is how I have been thinking of him. But then I asked myself, "Self, what is your issue with young Simon?" I realized that he is just too real for comfort. He thinks things, says things, does things like everyone I know did when they were young (I was trying there to avoid using myself for the example, but I think it is true based on my observations). His foolishness creates a sense of discomfort and embarrassment as I remembered doing similarly ridiculous things.

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The thing that impresses me about this tale is that even though Simon is the "hero," he doesn't get the help that are the mainstay of much fantasy. No one is looking out to protect his secret heritage (ala the Belgariad) or pushing him into a quest (ala the Shannara series) or hunted because of his special powers (ala Wheel of Time). On the whole the only consideration he gets is from Doctor Morgenes who had a fondness for his deceased parents, everyone else is fairly apathetic to his existence and what he does with his time. He does end up with the guide in the form of Binibak the troll, but since Binibak doesn't know what is going on either I don't put that on the level with Gandalf, Allanon, Belgaroth, or many others who are filled with secret knowledge and power. In TDC the guides don't hide information and speak cryptically because the are supposed to be mysterious, they simply don't have any answers. The major events of this book that will have repercussions through the series are all results of his own decisions, at least at 2/3's way through. It has been a long time since I read these last, so I will try not to say too many things that are wrong because I've forgotten what happens later.

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Now for a little quote from Tiamak the Wrannaman, who is pondering the gods and his unbountiful hunt that leaves him eating root soup: "As he climbed the long ladder from his moored boat to the little house perched in the banyan tree, Tiamak vowed to be content with soup and a biscuit. Gluttony was an obstacle, he reminded himself, an impediment between the soul and the realms of truth. As he reeled the ladder up onto the porch he thought of She Who Birthed Mankind, who had not even had a nice bowl of root soup, but had subsisted entirely on rocks and dirt and swamp water until they combined in her stomach and she whelped a litter of clay men, the first humans."

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So what does that make the humans? Tiamak doesn't say, but Williams has given us a good hint, has he not? Oh, the irony. I didn't know that was considered whelping.

A Little Writing News

I got word last weekend that my story "Last Dance" about the cowboy-turned-dude-wrangler Hobb was accepted into the National Undergraduate Literature Conference. It was good news especially since I had just finished another Hobb story called "The Cliff." It feels good to do some writing again.

R.

Because You Care . . .

About how the fearless Shogun Riotimus is doing. I knew it, so here you go.

Thanks for caring,

R.

Twenty-Five Albums - Take Them or Leave Them (Hint: Take Them)

This was going to be a list of my favorite ten albums. I found that to be impossible. So here is my eclectic list of twenty-five albums I think everyone should listen to twice for their own sake as well as for everyone around them. My disclaimer is this: these are all good albums on the whole, ie there may be albums with better songs that also contain filler, intentional or otherwise, and I only allowed myself one album per band/artist (not an easy thing to do for me with some of these). Outside of the top five they are in no particular order. I wrote it in Word with a neat list which did not copy into the Blogger. I've done the best I know how to make the format presentable.

Metallica - . . . And Justice for All – I have addressed the problem, as I see it, with Metallica here. I can recall being an underclassman hanging out at the convenience store next to the high school during lunch, and occasionally at other times. I had borrowed Master of Puppets at an earlier time and while appreciating the aural pummeling it gave me, I was otherwise unmoved. One day a hoodlum pulled up the gas station in a little hatchback with the back filled with speakers blasting Eye of the Beholder. The impact that it had caused me to re-evaluate my opinion of their material and even now they remain one of my favorite bands.

John Mayer Trio – Try – Forget “Your Body is a Wonderland.” This live album is power-trio blues-rock in the tradition of the Jimi Hendrix Experience or Cream, and is a strong album for any musician with interests in the blues or incredible live performances.

Dream Theater – Scenes from a Memory – This is my favorite of their albums, a concept album as it were with an interesting story and their usual amazing musicianship. I chose this one over all of their others on account of LaBrie’s voice: operatic singers tend to leave me annoyed, and LaBrie falls squarely in that camp, and on this album he annoyed me less than on the others. On the “Fatal Tragedy” solo there is a point where Petrucci plays the same basic melody once legato (with hammer-ons and pull-offs) and then again tremolo picked (picking every note). It is beautiful and one of my favorite moments in music.

Candlebox – Lucy – This was a great rock band around the mid-nineties, overlooked because they weren’t grungy enough for the grungers nor glam-metal enough for the butt-rockers. Kevin Martin has a haunting voice and Lucy is filled with great songs without any of those pesky f-bombs that made the self-titled album require so much editing around the kids. I really like the way that they bring a little jazz into their rock, my favorite example is “Rain” from the self-titled album, so I guess you will have to risk those waters if you care to hear it.

Nickel Creek – Nickel Creek – This is great acoustic music from a bluegrass trio who have been playing together since they were little kids. All three sing and are amazing at their respective instruments. I saw them a couple of summers ago, and they are fantastic live as well as on the record. On the first instrumental track mandolinist Chris Thyle does a long legato run that is an amazing accomplishment on an acoustic instrument.

Shadows Fall – War Within – Many years ago I thought that I was a metal fan. Two or three years ago I started listening to music on Launchcast with its music filtering options, and I set my preferences accordingly. What I learned was that it wasn’t that I was a metal fan, but that I am a rock fan has some favorite bands that happen to play metal. Shadows Fall is one of the metal bands I was introduced to that I didn’t hate. As a matter of fact this album really brings together a lot of things that I like about other bands in one place: tightness like Megadeth, Slipnotish vocals, pounding riffs like Black Label Society, and a sense of melody like Iron Maiden.

Seether – Disclaimer – To me Shaun Morgan’s voice is the best of Kurt Cobain mixed with Aaron Lewis. There are some intense songs on this album, and even if you have the edited WalMart version you won’t want to play this one straight through with kids around. “Fine Again” is a powerful song about wrestling with one’s inner demons and Seether really put together all of the best aspects of nineties music into this album.

Bon Jovi – New Jersey – Cheesy? Perhaps. I remember as lads someone gave Zilla and I a VHS with videos recorded on it (from those days when MTV played music) and we watched “Bad Medicine” over and over again. This really is a great record, good from beginning to end and featuring some of Richie Sambora’s best guitar work.

Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin II – I think this is their best album. Although many of my favorite songs are spread across their albums, this is one that showcases the best of everyone in the band and I can listen to from beginning to end. John Paul Jones is my favorite bass player of all time.

Cross Canadian Ragweed – Cross Canadian Ragweed – The darlings of alt-country (or at least they should be) this is the first major-label release from a working band that would probably be considered a rock band if not for Cody Canada’s Oklahoma drawl. This album should be in the Good Songwriting 101 required listening.

Default – The Fallout – This one made it on the list on account of every song being a gem. That is pretty much it. Great rock n’ roll.

Jerry Cantrell – Degradation Trip – This stuff is pretty incredible. If it is not enough that it is Jerry Cantrell (half, or arguably more, of the brain and brawn behind Alice in Chains) then I will point out that Robert Trijullo, who played with Suicidal Tendencies, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Label Society, and currently Metallica, laid down the bass tracks for this double album.

Lacuna Coil – Karma Code – This band was doing female/male dual vocals in a hard rock format long before “Bring Me to Life” awakened the possibility to America. They are Italian and this album is incredible on every level.

Nirvana – In Utero – Cobain’s sonic scream and less of the post-production polish that made Nevermind such a hit with the masses. It is a great amalgamation of punk-indie rock and catchy hooks. Jani Lane must have rolled over in his apartment when he heard this affront to over-production in all genres.

Pearl Jam – Pearl Jam – This is a great album with excellent musicianship and strong songs. It is more intense than Vs and they make good use of their triple guitar approach in the textures of their songs.

Queensryche – Empire – This is my favorite album by these guys with the most unique sound. The songs are great and the band plays brilliantly.

Radiohead – The Bends – This is one of the best alternative albums ever. I’ve been in bands that covered songs off of this album and it is just fun to listen to and to play. Good all around stuff.

Stone Sour – Come Whatever May – This one is no good for the kids, but I have never heard a better cross of metal and alternative, as illusory as Ing has pointed the idea to be. Corey Taylor may have the coolest voice in rock and roll, and the music is beautiful. It is the closest to what I would want to make if I were a rock star. But I’m not. I just rock on when I can, and write on the rest of the time.

Stone Temple Pilots – Tiny Music – Their earlier albums left them labeled as Pearl Jam imitators by people who know enough about music to hear two guys singing in the baritone range and decide that means one band must be a bunch of charlatans. Tiny Music is an album that really showcases some of the best of STP’s work as musicians. It is also the only album they have done that is great from beginning to end, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the single-coiled rock from this great band.

Toad the Wet Sprocket – In Light Syrup – This is an album of songs that did not make it onto their other albums. I find that there is something pure in the demo-style recording in which most of the album was done. Songs like “All in All” and “All Right” have amazing grooves, while “All She Said” should move anyone who is in touch with their feelings. Several of the songs, maybe more, start out slow or even flat weak, but every one of the is a diamond by the end.

U2 – The Joshua Tree – I didn’t put this on the list because of “With or Without You,” but in spite of it. Actually I think that is a powerful song and I have always been impressed with the Edge’s ebow work on it. Songs like “Red Hill Mining Town,” “In God’s Country,” and “Bullet the Blue Sky” are ingenious socio-political commentaries in a format that really rocks, or pops at the very least (although I think it would take somebody pretty hardcore to deny that the driving bass line in Bullet makes that song a bulldozer of sound).

Veruca Salt – American Thighs – I like to think of VS as a female AIC with the chilling vocal harmonies of Nina Gordan and Louis Post over a raw, aggressive musical background. There are many who can’t stand this album. I say listen to it. Then listen to it again.

Alice in Chains – Nothing Safe – Speaking of AIC, I could never pick one of their albums and so I have lamely put their best of collection here. Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell had something awesome when they sang together, and Jerry’s guitar work suggests that if the grunge movement had failed to catch on that they would have been fine in the butt-rocker society that was in place.

Gin Blossoms – New Miserable Experience – This one is on the list because of its sing-a-long value. Nothing mind boggling in the realm of musicianship or talent, except the ability to write meaningful songs with good hooks.

Slaughter – Stick It To Ya – This album is actually not that cool. It is on here because it is the best mixed album I have ever heard. The frequencies everyone was playing in, the room(s) it was recorded in, the way they did their post-production—something was magic here, something that Slaughter never got back on any of their later albums. There are some cool riffs, and “Fly to the Angels” is still awesome. I saw them live twice back in the day, and they were better live than in the studio. Blas Elias played the second show I saw with a broken nose because he was being a fool before it started. He stuffed tissue in his nostrils and rocked all night. After the encore Mark Slaughter told the crowd what had happened and that they were taking him to the hospital. If he hadn’t said anything I would have never noticed.

Perhaps you noticed that it is almost in alphabetical order, but not quite. I will let you come to your own conclusions regarding that. So there is my list. If you don’t agree, hopefully you at least listened to them twice like I asked you to, nay, implored you to, for your own sake and that of the world around you.
R.

In Case You Were Wondering . . .

I am on the third page of my new story. It is another story about Hobb, the cowboy who would end up a dude wrangler. He is just a lad in this tale though. It feels good to be writing. Hope everyone else is having as much progress (more, hopefully) and I will report more when there is some.

R.

Resting On My Laurels

Maybe it isn't a good idea, but with the Superbowl happening today I couldn't help but remember this, one of my favorite posts. So if you have never read the musings of my archive or have just forgotten feel free to check out Riotimus vs. the Superbowl.

In further news, I think I have finally decided to start writing again for real with some loving nudges from the beautiful Elyena and from Lackhand. If I don't count this post (which I shouldn't so I won't, I guess) I will start on Tuesday. I am also inspired to take back up the pen by young Zilla who has been slapping ink himself. My excuses are being taken away from me left and write and it seems that the time is now to resume my efforts.

On another level, I have been inspired by Ing's top-howevermany albums and have been considering doing one of my own. It was a lot of fun reading his.

For now, write on, and I hope to have a positive report to give on Tuesday about my authoring efforts.

R.

Still Kicking . . .

I'm still here and living. One might think that with all of my new spare time I would be posting up a storm. Alas, I have not. I am in the process of reorganizing and restructuring my schedule for the most benefit to my family and my writing (of the fiction kind, not the blogging kind, though that will undoubtedly fit in too). So soon you will hopefully be reading more reports about my writing experiences and less rambles and musing. There will be some of those anyways, I'm sure. I can't help it.

In the meantime, I have been introduced to a new band. I know most of my readers are hard-rockers of various taste, but I will share just in case anyone feels divergent. The band is called Son Volt and they are an alt-country band in the style of Cross Canadian Ragweed. And by alt-country I mean defying the Nashville songwriter/hit factory method and writing their own music like a real band does. Their sound varies from song to song with some sounding like a cross between southern-rock and The Smiths and others sounding like a cross between Dylan and Haggard. No real "country" sounding tunes to my ear, and I've been exposed to more country than anyone should ever have to be. It did not shake my world at all, but it has a good groove and I am always ready to support a band willing to write.

So, I'll be back soon with something to report about my writing. Have a nice day. And Write on.

R.

The Ender a POV Exercise

Finally I will do the post Daeruin requested so long ago about “Ender’s Game” and “Ender’s Shadow,” both being fine books in their own right but inspiring some definite monologue from me in combination. Let me preface my thoughts with the following truth statements:

“Ender’s Game” is a great book. – True

“Ender’s Shadow” is a great book. – True

“Game” and “Shadow” are the same story told from different points of view. – False

Now I hope that if you are going to get your ire up about it that you will hear me out first. When I read “Shadow,” it had been many years since I last read “Game.” I was impressed by what a great story Card came up with, and how well he retold the “Game” story with Bean. Where my perspective became altered was during my recent days of commuting when I checked out the audio books of “Game” then “Shadow” back to back. Listening to “Game” I was again impressed with Card’s tale and his depiction of all those darling lads and lasses. Conversely, when I listened to “Shadow” I experienced a combination of the sensations of “that is great” and “what the 7734?” that kind of cramped my style.

Here is the thing that bothered me about the books as they are presented – one story, two points of view:

(This may be completely unnoticeable unless the books are read in a short duration and one after the other. Furthermore, it may not be noticeable unless listening to the audio books. I still maintain that it is so and invite you to check it out yourself if you do not immediately agree with my observations.)

In EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE of personal interaction between Ender and Bean, “Shadow” shows Ender to have his head completely where the sun don’t shine. At the same time it tries to maintain, like “Game,” that Ender has some sort of intuitive sense for people and how to read them, use them, and win with them. He is also shown to be wrong about Petra, who in “Game” is one of his most stalwart allies. I know I get hung up on believability – still, how can he be oblivious to the people that he has to most depend on and still have the main difference that Card tries to sell between him and Bean. I think “Shadow” is probably the better book – the writing is stronger, and I liked the complications to the story. I do not think it is the same story as “Game” from a different point of view, but more like an alternate Ender universe where Wolverine only has one hand and Magneto gets Rogue.

In summary, I think that while as a POV exercise (quite a lucrative one for Card, by all accounts) “Shadow” is a failure. There are too many discrepancies for my believability, from the mixed presentation of Ender’s abilities to the complete alteration of the supporting cast. That being said, “Shadow” is still a great book, worth reading, and I intend to read the rest of the Shadow series now that I am done graduated.

On that note, it feels good to be done – I got my grades back and I finished strong with my highest achieving semester of my whole undergrad career. It pulled my GPA up into the potential grad school range so that I won’t have to rely totally on my GRE scores to get me in. Anyways, thank you all for your support and don’t forget to let me know what you think of my “Ender” interpretation.

R.

A Wonderful Day

Today I graduated with my double-bachelors in English and History. Afterwards we had a little gathering to celebrate. I just wanted to once again thank them of you as that were there showing your love and support - Zilla and family, Lackhand and family, my assorted folks, friends, and neighbors. I appreciate the things you have done for me.

It is a wonderful thing to be done with this phase of my education. On the agenda is some writing - fiction and book reviews - and a lot of guitar playing. When I'm not spending time with my family, that is. Write on, people, because soon I will be writing too.

R.

A Teaching Moment

The other morning the boys were asking E and I about who was the boss. I told them, "Think of our home symbolically as our country, the US of A. At a casual glance there might appear to be democracy and equality, but in the end you are like common citizens Mom and Dad are like the politico-corporate faction that pretty much do what we want with no repercussions from the likes of you." The analogy made perfect sense to them and there have been no more "boss" issues ever since.

R.

A Voice from the Maze

I have spent a week now in what I've come to think of as "The Maze," that is, the regional office of the powerful corporate entity which employs me. I considered calling it "The Maize" because many of the creepy aspects of the corn field apply, but I don't think that I will. I am not alone there - a half a dozen or more of my former co-workers have scrambled, clawed, or just earned their way into this web of cubicles. Today I heard one of them say, "Shine on you crazy diamond," to someone on the phone. It stopped me in my tracks. As many of you know, that is one of my oldest and favoritest sayings that has earned me looks ranging from blank to flat disgust. I am sure that there are other people in the world who say that exact thing and have for a long time. At the same time, I felt a sense of gratitude at the possibility that I perhaps had an influence on a respected colleague. One way or the other, I thought it a unique and surreal enough experience to post about here.

I have four essays and one test tomorrow and then I will be done with the work I need to do to graduate. Hooray. I have been down with the sickness like in that song by Disturbed so I haven't enjoyed getting rid of my commute as much as I initially planned, but I will make up for it.

R.

So Ready to be Movin' On

Below: A Storm Brewin' in Mongolia. Yeah. I was there.

Really. I start in my new position on December 3rd, and I graduate on December 14th. But I am ready now. Now, I say. I don't want to spend all next week driving 2-1/2 hours a day to my dwindling-commissioned current job. I don't want to write about "how well the introduction to the essay drew me in." How is that for a Thanksgiving attitude? A little disappointing, I am sure. I had an exciting story idea the other night and I am anxious to get it written. I made a list of the books I've read or listened to lately that I have stuff to say about here and haven't yet done so. I am having the hardest time getting down to business with this final stretch of school and sales. That is just where I am at right at this exact moment in time.

Movin' On

This morning I spent a few hours alternately doing homework, reading to the boys, and daydreaming about a job that I recently interviewed for. When the time came, I slipped into a Clean Greenie (those of you who have seen me in my corporate attire know of what I speak) and thought to myself, “Self, wouldn’t it be nice if the day of the Clean Greenie were coming to an end like the day of the Elves at the end of the Third Age.” Well, I received the call today, and the position that I sought is now mine. No more commuting – I will be able to walk to work. I estimate that by the time I graduate the Clean Greenie will no longer figure into my wardrobe, except maybe right before wash day. I will turn the extra fifteen to twenty hours a week to cool things like:

• Chilling with my family
• Passing my classes so I can graduate
• Reading paper books
• Picking up the guitar again
• Getting back to writing
• Blogging about most of the above

I am so excited I can hardly see straight. I can’t wait to Write On.

R.

Through the Hoops

Today I visited my department heads, the social-science college advisor, the cashier's office, and the graduation office one day ahead of deadline. I am now officially cleared (pending passing marks in my current classes) to graduate this December with my double major of History and English. It was a thrilling thing to see all of those approvals go through. All I have to do now is not screw up in my classes.

R.

I Want to Suck . . .

Technically the next part should be "your blood," but after my experience listening to Bram Stoker's Dracula I think I will leave it as is. I actually did not listen to the last disc. I'm pretty sure that they killed him though. He was vicious and I think he probably deserved it. Anyways, I am glad I read (listened to) it, because I recognize its place with Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and Arthur Conan Doyle's Hound of the Baskervilles as the foundation stones of the modern horror/suspense novel, but all I can say is I can't believe it is the one with the most spin-offs. I know it seems like I complain about authors a lot these days, but I am just an aspiring writer looking for others to emulate, and sometimes I get a little caught up in my analysis. If you look through my archives you will see that there have been authors who have really inspired me. Anyways, my list of grievances:

1) The journals. It is all written in the form of narrative journals - which I initially thought was cool, but as it became less and less believable it made me tired.

2) Believability. I'm not sure why I am so bent on having believable fiction, but I am. And the journal narratives were not.

3) The dialogue. Recorded supposedly word for word in the journals, this flowery overdone mess of dramatic speech is completely beyond my sense of reason. I have read a lot of writing from authors of the Romantic and Victorian periods, and have never had to endure in prose what Stoker was trying to make the reader believe these characters were supposedly saying in speech. Ugh.

There was a moment in the story that really moved me toward the beginning when a mother follows Dracula back to the castle and demands that he return her child. Jonathon had already heard the fate of the little one and admired the bravery of the woman even as Dracula called in a pack of wolves to remover her from the courtyard. No graphic descriptions were given, but none were necessary. It was a powerful scene. Perhaps it raised my expectations for the book too high.

I would like to take a moment and welcome some new readers who have apparently followed the links here from Daeruin and Ing's blogs - Welcome. I hope that you find my blog enjoyable and thought provoking. If not, then I will settle for better than a kick in the pants. Thanks for reading and commenting, or even just reading for those who have not felt inclined to comment.

One more item. As I have hitherto posted, I spend close to fifteen hours a week commuting. This adds up to a lot of audio books. More than I have been able to keep up with here, and I apologize because I really have had something to say about all of them that you will probably never get to read. So I am going to list the ones I have read and not posted about and if anyone wants my take on them they can say so in the comments and I will try to get something posted.

For Whom the Bell Tolls - Ernest Hemingway
Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein (although I have already thrown my two cents in on the discussion taking place on Ride On regarding that book)
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card
Ender's Shadow - Card

I think I have posted regarding all the rest. Let me know, and Write On.

R.

Favorite Sword Slinger Poll

To the right I have put up a little poll. There were supposed to be more than five options. At least it kept letting me add them on. But there are five showing. I don't know what happened. I probably did something wrong. Or google is still working the bugs out. Either way, if you are so inclined to take the poll, please comment here and tell us why you chose the warrior that you did. If your preferred person is not there, vote for a runner up and say in your comment who you would have voted for if they had been there (which they might have been, before I gave the go ahead on publishing the poll). You can choose from books or movies. I'm easy like that. Vote on.

R.

More Ponderings on WoT

I am still plowing away at Fires of Heaven during my commute. I am still having mixed feelings about it. As I have considered and refined my complaints about Jordan's style and WoT in general, I have finally latched on to my major peeve against both - Jordan is willing to sacrifice the integrity (insert believability or realism or whatever term you use for when a fictional character does something that rings false and lame for some purpose of the author) in order to make repeated and repetitive man/woman jokes. Characters that should be extremely compelling drop into the droning voice of a old joke, one that Jordan never ever seems to grow weary of. I'd offer to cite examples, but if you can't open a WoT book and see what I mean in five pages or less I'll give you a nickel. You'd have to come get it from me though, because I'm just not going to buy a stamp to send you a nickel. Assuming you can even find a five page stretch in 15,000 that he probably has written for this. That is issue one.

Issue two is this - too many chiefs and not enough Indians. In the world of WoT, everyone who grows older seems to keep amassing knowledge and power whether queens or chambermaids. I recognize that this is a fantasy story, but fantasy or not most people don't shed their sheepness no matter how old they get. Their situations get more pitiful as they are shoved or dragged by the people that are really like every other character in WoT. People don't bow to cranky older people, generally. I'd say Martin does a far better job of showing what happens when more than one person thinks they are in charge, and it isn't ganging up on youngsters. I consider it another attack on the back bone of good fiction - characterization.

R.

Posing a Question

In years past I read many of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time books, before boycotting them until he should die or finish the series, whichever comes first. Due to the limited audio books on CD available to me, I have rescinded my vow and am currently listening to Fires of Heaven (the fifth book in the series, disregarding the prequels). I find that I have a thousand-thousand gripes about these books. I recognize that as one who has never published more than a 2nd place story online I don't have much right to criticize a best selling series like WoT, but I am going to. Or maybe I won't. I know that there are many among the five or six people who read my blog that are fans of this series. Can you tell me why? What is it about WoT that makes it worth sifting through a hundred flat supporting characters, repetitive obnoxious hypocritical arguments (think Nyneave and Egwene in the dream world when they are snooping about the Tower), and a main cast made up of stereo types and extreme anti-stereo types? I find myself anxious to listen in spite of being frustrated by the character issues. That is the bulk of my complaint - certainly I can't fault his back story, his linguistics, his plotting (even if it is a bit loose for my taste), or the world of WoT. When I consider his characters next to those from Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn or Song of Ice and Fire, they seem to me to be pathetic punchlines in a too long joke. So, hopefully without being too critical of my criticism, what do you like about WoT?

R.

Back to Back Austen

I really thought that after enjoying Persuasion so much that Pride and Prejudice might not do that much for me. After all, I loved the movie, and I still liked Persuasion better. I found, however, that the book was more enjoyable than the movie or Persuasion. The characters are so enjoyable, and I love Austen's sense of prose. I took it as a good sign for the movie that I pictured the cast all through listening to the book in spite of a few changes that were made, notably Mr. Collins. My favorite line from the book did not make it into the movie, though in my mind I could see Donald Sutherland saying it:

"I enjoy all my three sons-in-law. Mr. Wicham is my favorite, but I shall enjoy your husband every bit as much as Jane's." Spoken to Elizabeth by Mr. Bennett, and badly paraphrased by Riotimus. That's the way it goes sometimes.

There have been many a book and doctorate published interpreting and analysing P & P, and I encourage all interested parties to check them out, but I think it sufficeth me to say that I loved it and would recommend it to anyone. Write on.

R.

Teamwork - It's More than just a Word

Those of you who know me understand me already for the goose-stepping company man who makes his daily commute with a smile on his face. In spite of that quality of mine, I sometimes find myself thinking of the large framed poster above the stair landing at work. It has an inspiring little message about teamwork under a picture of a section of the Great Wall of China, a man-made landmark that can be seen from outer space by the naked eye - built and improved for thousands of years by slave labor. Does anyone but me sense some incongruity here? I understand that the poster is supposed to catch up the viewer in the majesty of the image and cause him to think, "Wow! If we work together we could turn [this company] (or whatever) into an monument of unimagined proportions." Well, lets bust out the cat-o-nine tails and see who doesn't want to be a part of the team. Who in sieg hail would pay money for that, much less hang it for their, um, workers(?) to see? I've gone on about it as if it really upsets me, but it doesn't. The people who see that poster everyday probably don't know enough about history to know that they are being jacked with, so everyone is happy, motivated, and enjoying the cool picture of the Great Wall hanging above the landing. As for me, I've finished another semester - still waiting back on the results of that - and I've finished some more audio-books on my commute. I will be posting my thoughts on them soon. As far behind as I am on my posts, I may just do one post that addresses all of them, but I might not. They all certainly deserve their own post. So look for that soon, and write on.

R.

Persuasion

I’ve just finished Jane Austen’s Persuasion, a book of pining love and 19th century England at its social best. I thought I would post a few thoughts as well as a summary (I will designate the spoilers in case one of my readers wants to read the book without knowing how it turns out).

The Elliot family holds a baronage in a place called Kellidge. Let me remind you that I listened on audio-book during my commute, so I could be quite off in my spelling. The Baron is Sir Walter Elliot, and he has three daughters – Elizabeth, the eldest and most beautiful, Anne, who was persuaded not to marry Mr. Wentworth some eight years ago because he was a poor man of low station, and Mary, who married Edward Musgrave and is constantly sure that she is being ill-used by someone or other. All but Anne have a bloated sense of importance which generally is the complicating issue of most of the important scenes of the book. In the present, foolish Sir Elliot has indebted himself to the point where he must move to Bath and let Kellidge Hall to Admiral Crutch (or something like that). The wife of Admiral Crutch happens to be the sister of the Mr. Wentworth, now the wealthy and esteemed Captain Wentworth having proved himself and made a small fortune in the Napoleonic Wars. Sir Elliot and Elizabeth left for Bath, but Anne went to Upper Cross (or something like that) to take care of Mary, who proposes that she is quite ill. That is the essential set up of the story. Captain Wentworth does show up, and Anne is forced to watch him court Edward’s sister. Skip the spoiler if you don’t want to know how it turned out.

SPOILER

Obviously in the end, Anne and Captain Wentworth are reconciled and married in the end. I say obviously having finished it, but at the time I felt she could easily end up with two or three other suitors.

END OF SPOILER

The story caused some reflection on my part, especially on the matter of self portrayal and self view. Through the early parts of the book, Anne is described by Austen as a “woman seven-and-twenty who has lost her bloom.” This seems to be the way Anne feels, and the way that her vain father and sisters feel about her. Anne overhears Captain Wentworth tell another that at their re-introduction that “her countenance had changed so that he hardly recognized her.” Of course she assumes that he is referring to her loss of “bloom.” At some point in the story, however, Austen starts letting the reader (listener in my case) know some other points of view regarding Anne’s appearance. The unknown man (who turns out to be cousin William Elliot) who admires Anne in Lyme seems to also arouse Wentworth’s notice of her. Later, Austen shares a conversation between some women who wonder what all the talk is about how pretty Elizabeth is when Anne is the true beauty of the family. Indeed, the moments when Anne is not thinking about her lost bloom are the moments that people are noticing her beauty. It made me think of appearance as a reflection of inner self – not that how a person feels could change how they appear, but perhaps it could exude an attractive energy, the kind that radiates outward instead of sucking in. Like when you meet someone that you had seen in an attractive photograph, but even though they looked the same they lost their appeal in person. If any of you have read the book and have more insight or disagree with my take, I welcome your comments. I thoroughly enjoyed the book, and I would recommend it to anyone.

R.

The Curse of the Itchy Finger - A Jack Jackson Story

Note: This is a story I wrote last spring that I just got around to revising. I hope you find it interesting, if nothing else. R.


On a cold September afternoon, Jack Jackson rumbled into town in his ’68 Dodge Dart. The wind blew cold off the mountain slopes to the south. Jack Jackson pumped fifteen dollars worth of fuel into the Dart and headed to Bill’s Market.

On the west side of the grocery store a row of parking spaces nestled in between the Old Highway overpass and the wall of the building. After Jack Jackson finished his business in town he headed there to meet some friends.

Rob Roberts was already there with his big black Chevy truck. Mark Chestnut blared from the truck stereo and a crowd assembled around the vehicles.

Jack Jackson backed the Dart back against the railroad-tie barrier one space away from Rob Robert’s truck. A dimpled girl with a lot of make-up made her way through the crowd to Jack Jackson as he climbed out of his car.

“Hi,” she said as she leaned against the scuffed and abused paint of the fender.

“Hi Rosa,” said Jack Jackson while Rob Roberts watched them intently. “What’s everyone doin’ tonight?”

“Rob Roberts wants to go up to Arrow Hill and build a bonfire.”

Jack Jackson shrugged and walked over to Rob Robert’s truck. Rosa walked very close to him.

“It’s about time you got here,” said Rob Roberts.

“I had stuff to do,” said Jack Jackson.

“Did you get the pallets?” asked Rob Roberts.

“I’m not haulin’ pallets in my Dart. Take your stupid Chevy out and get pallets yourself.”

“The paint’s still fresh. I’m not scratchin’ up my bed with pallets.”

“You’ve been saying that since senior year,” answered Jack Jackson.

“You guys are so funny,” said Rosa.

Jack Jackson and Rob Roberts both blushed and stammered barely coherent replies.

“We’ll need wood for tonight,” said Rob Roberts.

“Not if we cruise Kennedy Avenue. I want to do some racing.”

“Racing is so immature,” said Rob Roberts.

Rosa had an arm draped through both Jack Jackson and Rob Robert’s arms.

“Is your car fast?” she asked Jack Jackson.

“It has a 318 bored and blown,” Jack Jackson said reverently.

“Your mind is blown,” said Rob Roberts. “There’s not a blower on that thing.”

“There will be soon. I aim to get one.”

“You’ll have better luck kicking yourself in the butt than you will finding a blower for a 318.”

“They make them. And I’m going to get one,” said Jack Jackson.

“That’s lame. Why don’t you leave your blowing car here and ride with me up to Arrow Hill?” asked Rob Roberts.

“Last time I left my car here all night I had to have a new windshield sent clear from Illinois. It cost me a fortune.”

“You wouldn’t have that problem if you would just get a truck.”

“I like my Dart,” said Jack Jackson.

“I like your Dart too,” said Rosa. “I’ve never been racing before.”

“I guess that seals it then,” said Jack Jackson.

Rosa ran and climbed into the passenger seat. “Are you going to come?” Jack Jackson asked.

“No, I’m going to build a fire. And you will wish you were there.”

“I doubt that,” said Jack Jackson, looking back to see Rosa playing with his car stereo.

“You will.”

“Why would I?” demanded Jack Jackson.

“Because if you don’t come with me, I’ll curse you.”

“Curse me?”

“Yeah . . . I’ll give you the Curse of the Itchy Finger,” said Rob Roberts.

“That’s stupid,” said Jack Jackson.

“You’ll see.”

For a while Jack Jackson and Rosa cruised Kennedy Avenue. Of the dozen or more races he put the Dart through, Jack Jackson won against all but two – a black ’77 Ford short-wheel-base pick-up that was cammed so that it could hardly idle, and a Chevy Luv running NOS. Around eleven o’clock a cop started to tail him and Jack Jackson decided to ditch the strip.

A tall bluff ran from east to west on the north side of town. They drove up to a dead-end street where they could overlook the lights. Jack Jackson made his move and kissed Rosa. She kissed back and Jack Jackson reveled in the smell of her hair and her perfume and her synthetic-whale-fat based make up.

Just as they started to get a rhythm going Jack Jackson’s left pinky began to burn. Soon it went from burning to itching and Jack Jackson started rubbing it on his pant leg, hoping Rosa wouldn’t notice. It didn’t help, so Jack Jackson slipped his arm off her shoulders and slid it between them so that he could claw the offending digit.

“What are you doing?” Rosa demanded impatiently.

“It’s my finger. Rob Roberts cursed me,” Jack Jackson answered.

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s jealous that you are out with me tonight, so he gave me the Curse of the Itchy Finger,” said Jack Jackson.

For several minutes Rosa sat in the passenger seat of the Dart, her dark hair splayed out against the fogged-up window. “I want you to take me home.”

“Fine,” said Jack Jackson as he fired up the old Dodge.

The 318 roared as Jack Jackson raced to get Rosa to her house twenty miles outside of town. It seemed like a long time to both of them, but according to the stereo clock it took less than thirteen minutes. Jack Jackson pulled into her driveway, and she jumped out of the car before it stopped moving to sprint to her door. She flew through and shut it swiftly behind her.

Jack Jackson left and drove as close to Arrow Hill as the Dart would get him, and hitched a ride the rest of the way up. Rob Roberts had just ripped a tree out of the ground with his truck, and he and a bunch of others were standing around beating their chests and celebrating both his coolness and his Chevy’s prowess.

Jack Jackson walked right up to him, and Rob Roberts laughed when he saw him coming. “It was the Curse. Wasn’t it?” Rob Roberts roared, tears coming to his eyes.

Jack Jackson whipped the sword of his hand out at Rob Roberts’ throat. Rob Roberts grasped his neck while his breathe wheezed in and out. “I bet you don’t have any smart-allicked thing to say to me now that I’ve crushed your laranix.”

Larynx, thought Rob Roberts, Larynx, as he sank down onto the tree trunk.

Hornblower's No Master

I finished Admiral Hornblower in the West Indies earlier this week. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It is placed in the post-Napoleonic Wars British navy, obviously in the West Indies. The images are fantastic, and Hornblower makes a fairly real character, in spite of his silly name. I appreciated that he dislikes his name and was excited to meet Mr. Roundbottom, possibly the only person to have a worse name than himself. I am not sure whether the audio-book was abridged or not, but as it was it seemed like a collection of short stories - Hornblower stopping a coup to release Napoleon from St. Helena, Hornblower trying to capture a slave ship (the British Empire outlawed slavery shortly after American independence and seized any ships on the open seas that were transporting slaves), Hornblower captured by grounded and desperate pirates, and Hornblower, his stint as Admiral and Commander in Chief of His Majesties Navy in the West Indies over, is caught in a hurricane while trying to get home. The stories were good, well worked, and filled with adventure. I find that I still enjoyed what I have read of the Master and Commander books more than these, but I still recommend this to anyone interested in in sailing ships, the British Navy, the West Indies, or Victorian social etiquette.

I am currently listening to Jane Austen's Persuasion, and I will be posting my thoughts on that when I am done. Write on.

R

A Little Wuthering

As previously mentioned, I am now commuting and listening to audio-books as I go. I just finished Wuthering Heights last Friday and thought I would throw a few thoughts out here.

The book is the story of Kathryn and Heathcliffe, two young friends that fall in love but are constantly apart. Kathryn marries someone else, Heathcliffe runs off and returns eventually with a mysterious fortune, and the two of them set about making everyone around them miserable. I suppose the story is less about them and more about how Heathcliffe, filled with hate, manages to ruin (at least temporarily) the lives of everyone he feels has wronged him and their children, and their property, and their servants. It has a fairly happy ending - I'm not sure if it is worth the countless pages of mean-spirited bickering that fills out the tale, but it is not the complete tragedy I was expecting.

In terms of why Wuthering Heights is considered a 'classic,' I think it must be the time of its creation. At that time, the novel was a fairly new artistic format. Also, many of the novels that we know as full books were released chapter by chapter in periodicals, only to be bound together at a later date. In terms of its description of life in northern England at the turn of the 19th century, I found it both enlightening and in harmony with what I know about the era as a historian. I found the language of the book delightful, and enjoyed some of the more poignant moments of the story. If the story has a redeeming, or classic, quality, it is that young Mrs. Linton (the daughter of the older Kathryn and her husband) refuses to accept unhappiness. Toward the end of the book, Heathcliffe has managed to strip away her family, her husband (who is Heathcliffe's son, and equally despised by him), her property (I shuddered at all of the book burning), and any sense of freedom she once possessed. Though she temporarily adopts the household of Wuthering Height's cruel and hateful temperament, she finds a way to make happiness there where there was none before. Her efforts are aided by the mysterious (but somewhat lame) death of Heathciffe at what amounted to be the most convenient time for her (and the object of her happiness, which you will have to find for yourself if wading through hours of meanness doesn't turn you off to happy endings). So, I am glad that I read (listened to) it. I won't be re-reading it.

My next audio-book is Hornblower goes to the West Indies, a Horacio Hornblower book. Think of the Master and Commander books but probably a lot cheesier. I'll soon know for sure.

I recently had a fan of my Tales from the Laughing Grass stories request new material. It was somewhat disappointing to not have anything to offer up. I just keep telling myself, "Self, seven more months and you'll be a free man." Write on.

R.

My New Hobby

That's right - commuting. Fifty miles exactly from my driveway to the parking lot of my new workplace. One hour in the morning, and one-and-a-half to three hours on the way home. Happily, my car seems to be getting close or over forty mpg with this type of driving, as long as I don't run the air conditioner. I went to the library to see what audio books they had on CD, and found that they only had about six, at least three of which are intolerably lame. I checked out Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte and that should keep my mind off the time I'm spending for a couple of days at least.

In school news, I am working on my senior research project for my History degree. It is as hard as one might expect to be a medievalist and try to find an event with enough primary sources (accessible in the part of the world I live in, at least) to fill a thirty page paper. I have therefore decided to do an historiography on the perception of the Norman Invasion by 20th century historians before and after WWII. I'm sure you'll all find it fascinating when it's done. Anyways, stay cool, and Write on.

R.

A New Novel Idea this Weekend

My ideas tend to fall into narrow categories - 1) Derthal stories long and short 2) Historical fiction stories long and short 3) the occasional current setting short story (like the one that was completely snubbed by Metaphor.

For some reason, this weekend I had an idea for a novel length suspense/mystery novel about a cowboy that, because of changes in the economy, finds himself becoming a dude wrangler running pack trips in the San Juan Mountains. He takes a nice yuppie family up into the high country and gets caught up an a plot of spousal murder. Not the most original plot, to be sure, but setting has got to count for something.

Anyways, I just thought I would let y'all know that now that classes are out I am thinking of new stories.

R.

Kurt Vonegut Fiction Prize Results

I bet you are all tired of finding out that I got rejected by someone else, but I did. So there. "A Day in the Sun" wasn't what they were after. Ah, well. I think it is safe to say that that is some reader's favorite of my work, so I don't take it personally.

Things have been crazy what with the end of my heaviest semester yet and a busy Spring in general. I have thought little about my fiction, and wrote even less. I hope that will change as I have on six hours worth of classes for the summer and three for fall. That is just a possible option based on how the employment situation turns out this summer after they close the doors of my current place of labor.

I am tentatively planning on entering WotF this quarter, but that will only happen if I have time to do a serious re-write of "Resurrection," which also hinges on how the next weeks/months go. So that's my writing report for now.

R.

"The Traveler's Gift" gets First Rejection

The Honors people sent me a form e-mail to let me know that my submission did not place in their little contest. I keep a file for each of my stories - in it I keep drafts, notes or e-mail conversations regarding the story, any awards or rejections the story earns. So now I have something for TTG's file.

The thing I try to remember in the face of getting shot down mercilessly is that when you send out stories, you get rejections, but if you don't send out stories, you never get prize money or publication. So I will keep submitting - because that is part of what it means to be a writer. Write on.

R.

WotF Results for Oct-Dec 2006 Quarter

"Suffer the Child", which is actually the stories "The Wasted Portion", "To Turn on One's Own", and "A New Guardian" failed to pull it off with the WotF folks. Despite the heavy editing that I did to it, E and I discovered (after we had sent off the submission) that it was full of typos. Blast. Then there was the part where I took three (semi) stand-alone stories, stuck them under one title, and tried to pass them off as a single story. (There was continuity in the stories with the Lishmen factor and, of course, the child, so I wasn't just being a donkey about it, in case the thought crossed your mind). So it wasn't a big surprise, the way the NULC rejection was.

I missed the deadline for the Jan-Mar 2007 quarter, somewhat deliberately, though I don't know when I would have revised anything with my schedule right now anyways. I am considering doing a revision of "Resurrection" for the next go round. Or maybe I will try to blend the Tales that involve Jeris a little better than six short stories with one title and send that. I don't know. I won't do anything but ponder it until I get through this semester. Write on.

R.

How Things Shake Down

I took a moment the other day to look through the reader list for the NULC. It was a rather surprising venture - my university was practically shut out. Talk about irony. It did make me feel better not to see a few specific names on that list. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I am glad that some of my peers didn't make the cut, but more that knowing the quality of their work I feel that the accepted submissions must have been incredible, and that makes me feel better about not getting in. So even though I know that they don't read this blog, here's to Jeff Z., Adrian S., Ammon N., and Camden - Write on.

In other news, Elyena called me at work the other day and said, "You got an envelope from the English Dept. It's thick, so it must be good news. Can I open it?" I said yes and she did. And it was good news. "A Day in the Sun" won an Honourable Mention in the Department Writing Contest. That's $15 bucks for our entertainment whims. It was a nice confirmation that I am not totally off track with my Tales. Last year the winners were amongst the aforementioned writers and I am sure the stories were just as good this year. So good news all over the place. Write on.

R.

You Never Can Tell What You Might Find

You all know I have an emphatic love for '63 and '64 Ford Galaxies, and since I can't find/afford a real one yet I settle for toys. On a recent road trip along I-80 we stopped at a Flying J in Wyoming. They happened to have a toy section, and I happened to flip through the cars. What a find - a '64 (which has been the more difficult to find, and my favorite of the two) in Candy Apple Red. It is made by Pro Rodz, the Stylers series. A fine specimen to hang in the office. Write on.

R.

No NULC for Riotimus This Year

It looks like “Toll Man” and “Pluck This Jewel . . .” didn’t have what the NULCers were looking for this year. Since it has been a while since I posted about my real writing efforts, and since I received the rejection letter today, it seemed like the moment for a post. Writing those stories was an incredibly satisfying experience. Win or lose, they are a few of my favorites. Write on.

R.

Label System Added

I have taken a few minutes to label the posts in my archive. I noticed that it is getting pretty big and I thought it might make it easier for anyone who wants to re-read (or hasn't been reading since the beginning) to be able to find posts that might interest them. I also thought that checking the label of new posts could help with knowing what it is you are getting into by reading. On the right side of the screen under my linked websites I now have a Labels menu. Clicking on one of the labels (like Book Reviews) will pull up all the posts that I have labeled thusly. Some posts have more than one label, but that's what happens when you meander freely like a river on a silt-covered flood plain. So give it a try and let me know if it is helpful. Write on.

R.

Going All Thoreau

On a sunny spring morning, Jack Jackson sat down by the river listening as it gurgled with pen and pad in hand. He scratch-scratched away at the pad, stopping occasionally to glance around dreamily. The willows swayed with the morning breeze and the shadows from the slopes at Jack Jackson’s back moseyed across the rippling water.

Loud crunching and crashing sounds distracted Jack Jackson from his contemplation and he glanced over his shoulder at the river-side growth from whence the disturbance came from.

Rob Roberts burst out of the willows with a curse.

“You’re ruining the serenity,” said Jack Jackson.

“You’re quite a work, freak-sauce.” Rob Roberts waved his arm toward the east. “You have to yell to hear yourself over the dammed surface mine. Don’t talk to me about serenity.”

“Why do you have to be such a smart-aleck?” Jack Jackson asked, placing his pen and pad carefully on a rock next to the river as he stood.

“What are you drawing?” asked Rob Roberts.

“It’s not a drawing, jerk-face.”

Rob Roberts picked up the pad and the pen rolled into the river with a plop. “What the hell is this?”

“It’s a poem,” replied Jack Jackson.

“It’s toilet paper.” Rob Roberts flicked his wrist and the notebook flew out over the water with a flutter of pages before descending into the river to speed away with the current.

Jack Jackson whipped the sword of his hand out at Rob Roberts’ throat. Rob Roberts grasped his neck while his breathe wheezed in and out. “I bet you don’t have any smart-alecky thing to say to me now that I’ve crushed your laranix.”Larynx, thought Rob Roberts, Larynx, as he sank back down on the riverbank.

Ignoble Experiment

“Whoa, check that out,” said Jack Jackson.

“That is so fake looking,” Rob Roberts replied.

“How would you know what looks fake and what doesn’t?”

Jack Jackson and Rob Roberts lounged in the glow of the TV on the long, velvet couch. They argued on and on about the subtleties of the horrific movie.

“I’ll never watch another movie you pick out again,” said Rob Roberts as the credits rolled. He stood up.

“You will, and you’ll like it,” said Jack Jackson, leaping to his feet.

“Oh yeah?” Rob Roberts responded.

“Yeah,” said Jack Jackson, whipping the sword of his hand out at Rob Roberts’ throat. Rob Roberts grasped his neck while his breathe wheezed in and out. “I bet you don’t have any smart-alecky thing to say to me now that I’ve crushed your laranix.”

Larynx, thought Rob Roberts, Larynx, as he sank back down on the couch.

The Vikings: A Very Short Introduction

If you have ever had an interest in the old savage Norsemen but did not want to wade through monstrous volumes of archeological ramblings or neo-Nazi propaganda or romanticized Viking inspired literature, than Richards’ Introduction could be the perfect match for you. With around 130 pages of text, this little volume is a pleasant read and a great back-pocket size for anyone that likes to keep something to read readily available.

The content is quite satisfying and Richards’ information is very up-to-date. I liked how well the narrative flowed—sometimes reading a history book is like reading a textbook and that is wrong. Very wrong. When I finished The Vikings, I wanted more. The book increased my knowledge and understanding of these people who dominated the middle Middle Ages and left me anxious to expand on that.

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in:
Vikings
The Middle Ages
History of the British Isles (Britain, Ireland, Isle of Man, Shetland Island, etc.)
Ships or naval history
Scandinavian history
European history
Archeology
Early exploration
History of trade

Some of these subjects are merely touched on. Some have chapters dedicated to them. I found Richards had good enough insights into them to add them to the list. So read and enjoy, if you have the urge. And remember, “Valhalla, I am coming,” as Robert Plant once crooned.

R.

The Man and Blogging

The Man doesn't like blogging. He doesn't like shenanigans. Or anything that distracts from efficient labor. Therefore, he has blocked Blogger from me while I am at work. I noticed that the blocker is temporarily not working and thought I would shout out to them as that might miss my writing while I'm at work. Don't let The Man hold you down. Write on.

R.

Back to that Writing Thing

Drawing from ironbog.eastkingdom.org

I have digressed in the last couple of posts, and I hope that is hunky dunky to y'all. I have been working on a (potentially) smaller project than my Derthal stories. I have mentioned before in an earlier post that I was considering a Viking story, and I have been looking into the feasibility of such a tale. It would be set right around 1000AD, a very rich time historically.

• Swen Forkbeard and Ethelred the Unready (another interpretation of the word could be "bad council" suggesting he listened to the wrong people if anyone, but that doesn't sound particularly catchy, does it?) were fighting over England
• Eric the Red had settled Greenland and his son Leif the Lucky had set up a seasonal fishing/hunting/trading/foraging station in Vinland (somewhere on the east coast of N. America)
• Vikings made up the personal bodyguard of the Byzantine Emperor (the Varangian Guard)and used the north/south rivers of Russia to trade in the Mediteranean, the Caspian, and the Black Seas
• The Reconquista was still going strong in Iberia (just like it would for the next 500 years)

See, pretty exciting smack happening. Note that I have completely snubbed the Franks. I say that's what they get for dominating all the Western/World Civ classes. Don't you think? Even if you don't this is my post, so there.

In light of the state of the world, and the fact that the Vikings left almost no written sources of their own gives me a lot of room to work with a story. It is going to be sweet. Elyena and I have been having some exciting discussions about the possibilities. Write on.

R

Corporate Musings

A few thoughts for today – in my Inbox sat an Internal Announcement about a new program for cutting costs to become “a world-class organization” by asking every employee to cut $8 a day in expenses. Swell. I think it’s a great theory. How much is a box of paper clips? But the real power of the memo is under the heading “WHY SHOULD I PARTICIPATE?”

Taking lessons from the national bestseller “Good to Great,” we recognize cost savings has a tremendous impact on our transition to a world-class company. With “$8 to Great,” ALL associates are empowered to do their part.
Each week flyers highlighting a different “real-life” savings concept as well as ideas to help you make a difference will be posted in your location. We encourage you to stop and think about these concepts and continue to identify ways we can save money and do our jobs more efficiently.
In other words: If you help save money by making your job harder the piratas blanco   at the top of the ladder will have more profit margin to play with. That would be a savings of at least $2080 per year per employee. And they’ll freak out if someone gets half-an-hour of overtime and act like we should be thrilled by out 3% annual raise. I’m sold.

Then I had a customer who reminds me of an old employer come in this morning to talk to My Salesman. The customer—who we’ll call Bich to protect his identity—told me to watch my bid entries because I had fat-fingered an item on a recent project. He said, “Don’t worry, I got you covered on this one. Right. My Salesman jumped in at that point to say, “You remember what we talked about? Going through each line item and double checking everything?” I said, “Are you kidding?” Bich was standing right there, but whatever. My Salesman wasn’t the one that stayed late and had to beg favors from the rest of the sales staff to get the job done. My Salesman and Bich make a great team. For example—one day My Salesman was telling me about how things were going to get better for Bich once the recession hits because “he’ll be able to pick up some good julios cheap.” I say, “So Bich is going to expand his crew during to recession to save money?” He gets this lame/timid look on his face. I can read between the lines. “So he’s going to drop the guys working for him now and replace them with guys begging to work for peanuts? Those ‘julios’ have families, bills, they’ve been loyal to Bich and done a good job for him.” In a huff, My Salesman says, “Let Bich worry about how he does business.” Yeah, I will. But don’t act surprised that I’m not jumping for joy when you ask me to call him about something so stupid that you don’t want to be the person on the other end of the line.

R.

Riotimus vs. the Superbowl

Just wanted to take a moment to discuss the highlights of my Monday morning.

1) I walk into dispatch. There are drivers and my salesman standing around talking about winning and losing money and so on.

R: Was there a football game this weekend?

Crowd: (general hissing and booing) Just the Superbowl (spoken with condescension).

R: That's cool. Who won?

Crowd: (general hissing and booing)

Salesman: The Chicago Bears

R: I always liked the Bears

Crowd: (general hissing and booing)

I leave the room in turmoil, but I am strangely satisfied.






These fine graphs offer some stats on football injuries for them as that might be interested in that sort of thing.


2) At the water dispenser I overhear several people talking about the Superbowl. Everyone has their say and there is a long pause.

R: I decided to watch a Superbowl once, but when I turned on the TV it turned out to just be a football game.

Crowd: (general hissing and booing)

I go back to my desk and get back to work.

R.

a'viking

The typical viking ship held 32 Norsemen, was ten feet wide, and only had a 3-1/2' draft,
meaning that it could go anywhere that was 18' wide (for the oars), and 4' deep. Hence their domination of Europe for close to 300 years.


I'm a viking and I'll do what I want to

Do what I want to

Do what I want to

You could do too if you sailed for Cnut


That being said, I had this swell story idea about a Norseman that goes a'viking and does whatever he wants to. After all, it's 1000 ad and who's going to stop him? I'll call him Olaf, or Sven, or Aeric. I can see it now, with my minds eye.

I actually can't see anything else because I am doing a project at work that has blinded me. Honest, I am seeing squiggly-senseless-scratched lines everywhere. And I have to decipher the meaning. And due to the nature of the project I know that it's a big fat waste of time. But that kind of thought will get me nowhere, so I will just take a moment to feel the salty spray in my face while I go exploring with Olaf. Or Sven. Or Aeric. After all, it's 16:00 on a Friday in the _______ business and who's going to stop me? Write on.

R.

PS Feel free to Google Cnut, or the 11th Century if you didn't get my verse.

Yeah . . . Right

So Blogger has FORCED me to switch to the new format. I think it sucks. They must think I will be thrilled to enter my damned full e-mail address just to make a comment on blogs I frequent. Well, I'm not feelin' it.

Can you hear me Google? We know you are the Man, and I'm not talking about the good one. We're on to you.

R.

PS I loaded the map because I am considering a crusade against the new Blogger.

Tech Writing and Italian Literature

The other day in my Professional and Technical Writing course we were scheduled to do some peer editing. My instructor said that withholding feedback on work is rude, that "it is actually quite Machiavellian in that if you do you are trying to ensure that you (the student withholding feedback) will get a better grade than the person you are offering to edit." It was a beautiful moment for me and I took great pleasure in the reference to that fine writer from renaissance Italy. Machiavelli is most well known for writing The Prince (not the song covered by Metallica from Garage Inc), an outline of what a leader would need to unite Italy and end the wars between Spain/Holy Roman Empire and France that had been fought on Italian ground for generations. It is a very interesting work, and worth some time and consideration. Machiavelli really outlined the Divine-Right Kings era before it actually happened, ie. Kings like Louis XIV could have been poster boys for The Prince even if they weren't around when it was written. So here's to teachers that can use Machiavellian in a sentence and still make it apply. Write on.

R.

In My Hands

Not only is it a cool song (okay, I suppose it is actually All Within My Hands if you want to be technical) but it was cool to hold it in my hands. I took the 53,000 word edition of Tales from the Laughing Grass and printed it out using MS Word's Book Fold format. It was surreal. Being the frickin' genius that I am, I looked at the stack of paper, than at the mighty appearing paper cutter there in the computer lab, and I proceeded to choppy-choppy. Of course I tried to choppy-choppy the stack all at once. You may be able to imagine how that went. Or you may not. If you can't and you decide to try it to find out, make sure you use scrap paper and not your one of a kind manuscript. Even if it is only one of a kind until you put another buck-and-a-half on your University card so you can print another. Anyways, I trimmed up the carnage as well as I could and swung by Kinkos to see if they could staple or bind it somehow. Because of the massacred edges, however, they deemed it impossible. They said to just let them cut it next time. It will only cost another buck-and-a-half to have them to choppy-choppy and and a few more bucks to bind it in a nice fashion. In spite of the self-imposed setback it felt incredible to hold that stack of stories in my hands and talk with Elyena about how we got to this point. It is very satisfying, even in the face of the work still ahead of us.

With a large handful of submission deadlines coming up, I thought I would throw out my picks for the stuff I'm going to try my hand at in the next little while. I am considering "A Day in the Sun", "The Traveler's Gift", "Toll Man", and "To Turn on One's Own" for upcoming events. Nothing is set in stone. I feel at right now that I am too close to the stories to objectively rate their odds at various venues, but Elyena is trying to help with the issue. Suggestions are welcome.

So that is what is going on in the realm of my writing (besides class work, and my Cather paper was such a hit I don't think I will spend much time here addressing it unless I can't help myself) right now. Write on.

R.

It's Nice to Meet a Goal Now and Then

With the completion of a fun little story I call "The Captaincy", Tales from the Laughing Grass has now exceded 50,000 words. Translated into a book-sized format, that is between 170-210 pages. Not a huge book, I know, but The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde is only 198. O Pioneers by Willa Cather (read the in-depth analysis of some of her work in my archives) is about the same, so I am excited. It is also long enough that if I had made it there earlier I could have sent it in to the Jefferson Press Fiction Book Contest (I probably wouldn't have, for various reasons, but it was a goal none-the-less). So anyways, the stories keep stacking up. Thank you to all of you that have edited or otherwise encouraged my efforts in this regard. Write On.

R.

On Good Behavior

So my boss' laptop took the old lead sleeping tablet. That in itself may not be bad. However, as it were, he has selected to work at the computer terminal right in front of mine on this day. "It could be worse," you are thinking, and you're right. He could be sitting behind me. Except that with that same wisdom that led me to select the back-most seat back in my school days (the ones where I was a kid, not the ones where I had kids) I selected the the back-most desk. Yes, it's true. So here I am, struggling to keep my muscle-relaxented brain focused on productivity while his big black cloud hangs over my corner of the workspace. Even so.

Write on.

R.

The Problem of Metallica

. . . or “Oh yeah, this is my favorite album.” So I was listening to …And Justice for All on my way back to work this afternoon, and as the title track dropped into that crunching post-solo grind I thought to myself, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” But then I had a series of flashbacks: me, listening to the amazing solo work of the title track to Ride the Lightning and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the down-tuned clean riffage in The Unnamed Feeling (St. Anger) and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the ominous riff to Kill ‘em All’s Seek and Destroy and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the first minute of The Prince off Garage, Inc. and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the funky, yet moving, introduction to Fixxxer from Reload and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the deft slide work on Mama Said from Load and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE,” (except for Ain’t My B**** and 2X4, which I despise). Me, listening to the incredible live opening to -Human from S&M and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE,” (again, not really, because I think it is overkill, but the new songs that were actually designed for Symphony and Metallica are lovely). Me, listening to the tremolo soaked rhythm part in Welcome Home (Sanitarium) from Master of Puppets and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to Kirks solo on Don’t Tread on Me (Black Album) and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” I could have just as easily used the descending melody in Astronomy, or the harminized solo from Nothing Else Matters (which really did nothing for me until I saw them perform it live once), or the monster riffage from For Whom the Bell Tolls, the incredible intro to Devil's Dance, or the non-stop assault of Disposable Heroes (all 8:16 of it).

I’m guessing that you can see the trend. I don’t think I am alone in this. I think it is a problem for Metallica fans worldwide. What is a rarely-stop rocker to do though? For now I think I will just set my computer to play all the Metallica in its library. And if you decide to do the same, then Right On. Er, Write On. Even so.

R.

In the Mail

In the mail indeed. In the end, the lovely Elyena and I decided to send WotF a short story trilogy that we called Suffer the Child. It is made up of the stories "The Wasted Portion", "To Turn on One's Own", and "A New Guardian" and tells the riveting tale of the pre-Captain's wrestle with acceptance, morality, and authority. It is a charming, if violent, story. I am sure you are asking yourself, "Self, how many times does the pre-Captain get his bum kicked in this episode?" I'll give you a complete rundown of the incident statistics (+/- 25%).

Corpses: 6

Snubbings: 7

Smacktalk: 4

Smackdowns (the pre-Captain): 2

Smackdowns (someone else): 5

Cleaning up the baby: 2

Groupthink (the product of a mob of people) actually leading to something good: 1 (I know you're skeptical, but it could happen)

Getting knocked around by horses: 2

Romantic moments: 0

Asking for directions: 2

So that is Suffer the Child told statistically. Was it edifying? Satisfying? Horrifying? I found that to be an interesting experiment myself. Someone who has read the prose may disagree with my numbers, but like a professional statician I allowed enough of a margin of error that they don't mean anything anyways.

I also sent out ADIS to face the Kurt Vonnegut Fiction Prize challenge. While WotF should have results back in 10-15 weeks, I have no idea on the KVFP. Since it is annual, I suppose they could deliberate for a year on it. We shall see. Both contests publish winners and offer a satisfying cash prize.

So, Write On. And I will too.

R.