East-coast Corporate Buyer #1 (ECCB1): Welcome to the California District Purchasing meeting. Let's take roll.
(People of various degrees of importance sound off)
East-coast Corporate Buyer #2 (ECCB2): Well . . . since our last call the market has taken a dump.
ECCB1: It is the same on my end. How are things in the Field?
West-coast Store Manager #1 (WCSM1): blah blah blah
West-coast Store Manager #2 (WCSM2): blah blah blah You guys suck. I think you are trying to put us out of business. blah blah blah
WCSM3, 4, & 5: blah blah blah
WCSM1: I think WCSM2 had a good point. What the hell are you guys doing in your high-backed chairs over there?
ECCB1: Do you want to take that ECCB2?
ECCB2: blah blah blah
WCSM4: Why can't you guys just do things right?
ECCB1: We do things right. blah blah blah Some day you will see why centralized purchasing is best for everybody.
WCSM1, 2, 3, 4, & 5: blah blah blah You guys suck! blah blah blah
Entire Staff of Rocky Mountain Purchasing Group (RMPG): zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ECCB1: Why don't we turn the time over to ECCB3 for some important information.
ECCB3: If you guys would start doing your jobs this whole system would work like a well oiled machine. You can't sit on your thumbs in the California sun and expect for us to be able to do a good job in the Confederacy.
WCSM1, 2, 3, 4, & 5: blah blah blah with rancor
ECCB1: Uh, do you guys in the RMPG have anything today?
RMPG: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . No. No we don't. Thanks for having us on though.
ECCB1: Let's plan on doing this again next week then.
RMPG: (hits the mute button and collectively groans)
Call duration: 1 hour 27 minutes
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3 comments:
Ahhhh...Corporate America. I've always believed that other people work for companies full of people as dunder-headed and incompetent as I do, but it is quite satisfying to have it proven.
If you're ever in the mood for a change, we could switch conference calls...Who knows, you may find a company sriving to be as evil as mortally possible a welcome change.
Ha! That's awesome. In a kind of not-awesome way...considering you had to actually suffer through it...but it was fun to read.
It was fun to read...and I laugh every time I think about it (I remember those kinds of conference calls). Thanks for putting up with it all.
Love,
E.
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