Friday, December 25, 2009

Merrily Christmas

My family is at my in-laws for Christmas. It was a traditional Eve and Morn--short night and early morning--but well worth it. The kids had so much fun. I had fun too; in my stocking was a five-function survival whistle that included flash mirror, compass, and lanyard, amongst other things.

Hope everyone is having a Merry Christmas.

R.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Do You Know Where Your Make-up Comes From?

In the wild lands to the south, an epidemic has been discovered--the slaying of fat people for the bountiful treasure within. This human lard is then sold to European cosmetic companies for up to $60K a gallon.

R.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

For the Love of Books

Setting: Jr. High classroom; kids being noisy because they just have a substitute. Mr. Riotimus gives them their instructions and sits down. Picks up From Puritanism to Postmodernism: A History of American Literature and begins to read. Odd Girl walks up to him and stares intently.

Odd Girl: I've read that before.

Mr. Riotimus: That's great.

Odd Girl: It's a good book.

Mr. Riotimus: I'm glad you liked it.

Odd Girl wanders back to desk, spends a few minutes doing assignment, then starts reading trendy vampire-romance novel. Stands and shuffles back to substitute.

Odd Girl: That's such a great book (referring to Puritanism).

Mr. Riotimus: (Too dumbfounded to speak).

Odd Girl: I've read it, like, fifteen times!

Mr. Riotimus: (Wishes he didn't have to read it even once as it is heavy on information but light on any of the things that made the works it discusses so pleasant to experience).

Odd Girl: You probably want to know how it ends, but you'll have to finish it and find out for yourself!

Mr. Riotimus: . . . I suppose I will. Thanks.

Finis

Hope your reading endeavors are treating you as well as your writing ones. Write on.

R.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Zanpakuto

There are them as that don't know what a zanpakuto is, and that's a real shame.



Don't cut yourself.

R.

Monday, October 26, 2009

"Do try my stew . . ."

The scene I would like you to watch starts at about 7:30 and may be the greatest scene ever laid down on film. Yes; yes it is. It goes until around 8:07 or so.



R.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

What I'm Doing Now

It's tearing you apart, wondering what that is. Well . . . I'm still plugging along on my MA; I've just endured an enlightening read of James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - that didn't thrill me, but I suppose everybody studying literature is forced to read it at some point. I was impressed with the dialogue. That's about all I can say for it. I've had to read some other more satisfying books, but if I post about them I will do it later.

In spite of my failure to report the numbers, I have been writing, beefing up my portfolio to try to get into an MFA of Creative Writing for next fall. I am getting a good chunk of short stories in my new series put together, with a respectable number of segments jotted down in my pocket notebook. I'm pleased with where the characters are going and the potential the series has. I've not been able to come up with a title for the it, which is strange because I often start with a title or know what the title should be once I begin to grasp the story. What do you call a series about a cowboy in the early-to-mid nineties? I hopefully will come up with something bettet than The [Main-Character] Stories soon.

I've come across a fairly fun band called Skillet. They sound like a cross of Hinder, Evanescence, and Plumb. It's always nice to find something hard-rockish that won't leave the kids scarred if they hear it. Here's one of their tunes set to a segment of Bleach (for you Zilla).


Watch Bleach Skillet-Monster in Anime  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Write On.

R.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Arachnid

A spider bit me upon the leg

A great long drink of Dixie dregs

Yellow pustules of venom full

Sour poison blistering cruel

Spider, you did avoid mine eye

Someday soon I hope you die

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Dear Government . . .

Mr. Obama, the Congress, assorted yes men and bureaucrats of all different sorts:

There was nothing wrong with my state managed student loans. By retroactively purchasing them you are in fact hurting me, my family, and my ability to ever contribute gainfully to this society. This heavy-handed approach to creating a crisis so that you can claim to have fixed something is wrong, and I think you know it.

Sincerely,

Riotimus, an American

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Testing . . .

This week I have been subbing in an elementary school that I am fond of. At lunch today I heard a teacher saying she would love to teach social studies, but since it isn't on the state and federal mandated tests she's not going to. Social studies. For those of you who don't recall what that is here is a little rundown:

Geography

History

Economics

Political science

It is the essence of intelligent humanity and patriotism being ran down in order to create a more pliable (ie. more open to propaganda)but technically advanced labor force. Something about that makes me think of Germany in the 1930's. Wait . . . the day is coming when a reference like that will have no meaning, no power, no recognition. I think it is not just a shame, but it should be a crime.

But nobody asks riotimus for his opinion before they make the big decisions.

R.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Writing Manuals

This summer I had the opportunity to read a couple of really good books about the art of fiction. One was Steering the Craft by Ursela LeGuin and the other was On Writing by Stephen King. They were noteworthy for a couple of reasons which I will hereby expound upon.

Both of these books were a pleasure to read. They were enlightening and they moved. It was a pleasing experience which I cannot say for many writing books I have read regardless of who wrote them.

Steering the Craft is concise and to the point. LeGuin (Eathsea Trilogy) touches on issues she's come across in workshops and seminars, things like tense, suspense, adverbs, and writer's groups/circles/etc.

On Writing starts with a large memoir section of the things King feels like relate to his writing - how's, when's, and why's. He touches on the language, pacing, adverbs, agents, revision, etc.

One of the things that made an impression on me were the way they had some of the same opinions - opinions that were not in line with a lot of books I've read before, though that wasn't always the case. One of the points of dissent had to do with plotting. Both LeGuin and King were adamant that plotting is a device, that it has little to do with storytelling, but is more of a gimmick. King calls his writing "situational writing" in that he sticks a character in a situation and as he finds out more about the character he finds out where the story is going.

Another cool point had to do with action. LeGuin says that writers often feel like their needs to be conflict or action in order to have a story. She says all they really need is change. A transition is a story, in other words. I can't put it as beautifully as she did so I will recommend that you read the book for more.

Adverbs were one of the things they both talked about. King said "the road to hell is paved with adverbs" or something very close to that. LeGuin wasn't quite so dramatic about it, but she felt just as strongly. Adverbs weaken and cheapen your verbs, placing the author at risk of looking weak or preposterous. Between the two of them I have made a goal to not let any adverbs or adverbial phrases slip into my fiction, or if they do to not let them make it past the first draft.

King talks about not sharing your story with anyone until you have a complete draft. If you do he goes through a whole list of scenarios that damage your efforts to finish the story well.

I strongly recommend both of these books to writers of fiction. They deserve much more of a treatment than I gave them here today, so check them out.

R.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Master

I have been unofficially accepted into a Master of Arts in English program. It will have to go through the whole big process before I get my letter, but I am starting classes next month. I am very excited.

R.


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Thursday, July 09, 2009

United Airlines: Shame On You

When faced with the shameful allegation of guitar breaking, United Airlines claimed lack of liability. I say change your evil ways.



R.

Friday, July 03, 2009

A Note on Personal Combat

All thorough my life I have heard the question posed as to what martial art or fighting system is the best. I’ve heard many arguments and seen many inconclusive matches, tournaments, and unabashed braggadocio have led me to speculate as to the probability of a decisive event. This speculation has come about due to a combination of my renewed study of Taekwondo, my recent watching of the one and only season of Human Weapon, and all of the discussion on Blog Ing about which historical warriors would dominate if they actually met in combat. Since many of you are writing fiction, and fiction that involves personal combat on some level, I thought I would share my thoughts for what they are worth.

As a young student of Taekwondo I felt that it was very complete. I was, and still am, though in a much more subjective way, enamored with the art and its many strengths. Over the years I’ve seen and experienced things that made me aware of a large voids or weaknesses within Taekwondo. As I’ve learned more about other martial arts their flaws have stuck out to me as well. I will offer some examples to try to illustrate the point.

Taekwondo is a striking art known for its abundance of kicks, flying and standing. The purpose behind almost all movement is the production of power that will (ideally) end a conflict in one blow. A practitioner that can keep his opponent at leg’s length would be very difficult to beat. However, very little of its emphasis is directed towards grappling (systems that involve throwing, submission holds like joint locks, and/or pinning) in spite of a tidbit called Ho Sin Sul. This self-defense style is basic hold breaking good for fending off the school bully or an alley thug but probably not against someone who has studied jiu-jitsu, judo, aikido, its cousin hapkido, or wrestling.

Other arts, and styles within arts, are also laden with weaknesses, the greatest of which in my opinion is the culture that develops around them. The artist becomes indoctrinated with the rules and specific application of his or her style and is unprepared to deal with an unfamiliar culture. I’ve used the example of Taekwondo’s deficiency in the area of grappling already; I will further illustrate the point by looking at some other combat systems.

To flip the issue, I’ve seen grapplers in the ring take a beating because they are so focused on getting a hold of their opponent that they disregard the heavy strikes from hand and foot. In spite of these, the grappler usually has the advantage; most punches and kicks are fairly basic and not completely foreign to the grappler. Grappling on the other hand is often totally unknown to the striker as the main goal of most striking systems is to keep the opponent away. This is not always true; aikido for example is a peaceful art, meaning the goal is to protect yourself and your enemy at the same time. It is an art of counter-moves, but over the years moves that are considered too aggressive have been removed from practice. This leaves the practitioner without a practiced counter-move if faced with a cross-system confrontation.

Another aspect worthy of consideration is the cultural rules of engagement. Maui Tai, Pradal Serey, and Wing Chun all utilize knee and elbow strikes which are anathema in most other martial arts. A practitioner of Karate, Taekwondo, or Savate would likely be caught off guard by this brutal approach to fighting. Basically the stricter the tournament rules of a combat system are the more of a disadvantage their artist will have when faced with an anything-goes kind of match, whether it be on the street or in a ring. Another cultural feature is that of turns. In my years of Taekwondo experience I remember there being an unspoken rule of engagement: you attack, then I counter-attack, then you counter-attack, and so on. Many systems, especially those of Southeast Asia, spit in the face of such systems. Practitioners are taught that if you wait for your opponent to finish his attack you are already too late. Counter-attacks must be made immediately once the attack is recognized.

Because of each combat system’s innate weakness, newer hybrids have a distinct advantage over more historical and culturally accurate arts. Blends like Israel’s Krav Maga take the most effective and brutal moves from a variety of fighting styles and use them in urban warfare and anti-terrorist combat. It is a very effective art. Some blends lose a lot in their conception; mixed martial arts (MMA) fighting was historically a format where practitioners of different systems could meet up and see who had the bigger roundhouse, or armbar, or whatever. It has become a culture where a martial artist has a base system (like jiu-jitsu) and then picks up assorted moves from wherever he can. The result is a whole lotta slop, like in that song by Led Zeppelin. Kicks and punches are thrown with all of the technical awareness of a potato head, but with a lot more force. The one area they excel in is that they are not usually caught off guard by attacks of differing systems; they see more moves and have to contend with more variety in a match than any other art.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think there is a superior combat system. Each one has weaknesses and shortcomings due to the culture of its origination and the culture that has sprung up around the art. I propose that if two martial artists of similar stature but differing systems collided outside of the ring that the winner would be the fighter most able to deal with having the carpet yanked out from under him; by that I mean the one who can most quickly adapt to compensate for his lack of knowledge of the opponents system.

I think this would apply not only to empty-handed combat, but to that revolving around the use of weapons such as sword, shield, axe, pike, etc. Every system of combat would have its own set of strengths and weaknesses that could never be artificially compared by a computer because in the end it would be the fighter’s adaptability that would determine the outcome.

R.

Where, Oh Where, Can My Little Site Be?

Years ago I came across a nifty website. It was super cool and I was buried in school and now I feel a fool because I didn't write down what it was or something. It worked basically like this:

You would enter an author's name and it would pull up a map of the genre. The map or tree or whatever consisted of a bunch of author's names all over the screen. The one that you entered would be in bold or something like that and it would give you an idea of what authors in the genre were writing similar things.

If anyone knows where this site is I would be thrilled for the information.

Thanks,

R.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Too Rarely Heard

These are a couple of playlists I have put together, mostly for Ing, but anyone who has not given Metallica a good listen since the Black Album on account of what was getting played on the radio. The new album, Death Magnetic, I have posted almost in its entirity and the other playlist is a collection of deep cuts from Load, Reload, S&M, Garage, Inc., and St. Anger. To my knowledge none of those songs have been played on the radio unless someone was listening to one of those Metallica shows (Mandatory Metallica and its like).

Death Magnetic - This album, to me, is an amalgamation of all of the best sounds of Metallica. Some of my personal favorites are Broken, Beat, and Scarred and Cyanide, along with the first instrumental since Justice, Suicide and Redemption.


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones


The Metallicats - This should be a fun playlist. At least it is for me. Lots of Metallica but no tired radio tunes. It's heavenly. Bad Seed and Where the Wild Things Are be some of my favorites off of this list of favorites. I wanted Purify off the St. Anger album, but I couldn't find it on playlist.


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones


Pleasant listening.

R.


Friday, June 26, 2009

In the Mail

So I finished the story at around 7,400 words and sent it off in the mail. I won't know until this fall whether it placed or not, but I think it was good for me to send something off. I used to be very systematic about writing and submitting stories. I've started meeting with some other writers a couple of times a month. I'm hoping it will keep my writing efforts up as well as offer me some promise in the discouraging face of trying to find a job in this economy.

R.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Question

There are some TV shows that just leave a viewer like me plagued by questions. I know what you're thinking: if I no longer have TV, how can I watch shows? Well, many years ago, when our first child started making noise even, we stopped watching anything that doesn't have a pause button; we watch our TV on Hulu. But the point is the questions a show brings up:

Was it supposed to be irony that the A-Team was made up of misfits?

Will Tina ever find love? (From some soap opera I saw once as a kid)

Why did the GIJoes ever let that wrestling hack Slaughter act like he could get their special-forced butts trained like they needed to beat Cobra?

These are some questions from years long past. Lately, I've pondered these:

Why is there always a pineapple in Psych?

How come the women of Chuck only put mascara on their upper eye lashes?

And most importantly to me and most of my readers: How is it that Bones is supposed to be so disconnected from humanity, have such inability to connect, understand, and communicate with people, and somehow manage to write best-selling novels? I'm not well read in crime-fiction, but it seems to me that it would still have to have a strong human element to acquire readers. Isn't that why most of us read? To experience humanity in a variety of situations? It seems to me that even if she is the smartest woman around she would still need to connect.

Thanks for reading.

R.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The New Collection

Okay it's not really new; I've been writing Hobb stories for over a year now. What's new is that I've begun to think of them as Hillbilly 90210. They are packed with angst and drama. Anyways, the new one is coming write along. Angst and drama. In this installment Hobb gets his ego broken by a girl and fights with his best friend. Anyways, that's where I'm at.

R.

Friday, June 12, 2009

HD?

I just watched a news clip saying that 218,000 people will be joining me in losing TV reception this weekend. They implied that it was happening because of ignorance or poor judgment, and not a conscious choice or decision of protest.

HD, huh, what is it good for? Better picture, more channels, and better reception they say. But who are they really?

R.

P.S. I am writing again, trying to pound out a short story for a June 25th deadline. It feels good. With any luck there will be more posts on Write On about writing to go with my eclectic observations and ramblings.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

And the Winner is . . . Who?

Mine That Bird? Mine what? What is riotimus talking about now?

Only this:

The Kentucky Derby. "The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports."

At least it was yesterday. I was going to say watch before reading on, but you might be glad for the heads up of what to watch for.



It would be cool if there was a slow motion viddy out there or something, but just so you don't have to watch it seventy-five times to figure out what happened like I did, I will give you riotimus' take on things.

Early in the race, like for first the minute-and-a-half, there is a horse at the very back of the pack. Way in the back. So far in the back that the announcer almost forgets to mention him and his place. He is Mine That Bird, moseying along with 50:1 odds against him. You get a good shot of how far back he is around :39 and :56.

The pack goes into the second and final turn and as they are about to come out of it, Mine That Bird begins sliding past EVERYONE. The jockey, Calvin Borel, guides him along the rail, out and around a jockey in red, then back to the rail to rush past the front-runners and win by 6-3/4 lengths. Mine That Bird comes up so fast that the announcer doesn't even realize he is there until he has passed everyone.

Like one commenter said, if this had been in a movie no one would have believed it. Enjoy.

R.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Compliments

My wife told me this morning that I am "handsy." I'm not sure of the definition of that, but I'm assuming it is a compliment, like handy. Or handsome.

R.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Farewell to Derek


Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Who is going to be the sane person on Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles now that he is gone? I'm not sure that the show can float without that character. I suppose we'll see.

As a writer, I must admit, I was very impressed by the way they did it. It was cold. Icy cold. He comes around the corner and takes one to the head. No lame dramatic death scene for Derek; one second he's stalking metal and the next he is dead. I can appreciate the suddenness of that.

Here's one to "funny Derek." May the force be with you. Or whatever they say in Terminator world. Illegitimus Non Carborundum? It was intense.

R.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

5-5-5

The challenge: From your Pictures, take the the fifth picture from the fifth file, post it, and write about it. Then you tag five people to do the same. I'm not going to bother to tag anyone; at times I'm not sure if there are five people who read this. I accepted Kel's general challenge, and I will pass it on. If you are reading this and you feel like doing it, go right on ahead. It turns out to be a silly one for me:



I'm not sure this qualifies as a picture, but it was the fifth item in my fifth folder. The image is a gif of the Gundam Heavy Arms from Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz. It is probably my favorite Gundam of all time (Gundams are a Mobile Suit, ie., a big machine piloted by a human who sits in the chest cavity). There are Gundam models, action figures, t-shirts, and multiple series of cartoons from around 1979 (making it the longest running mecha-type anime that I am familiar with). Some people can't abide it, but fortunately I am not one of those.

R.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Class Divisions

They are very interesting, these non-real life microcosms that are our classrooms. Yesterday I taught Algebra. Or I suppose I should say that I babysat a room full of kids that were supposed to be doing Algebra assignments given by their regular teacher. Throughout the day I noticed that there were students that would get the work done, students that would play around with it like my three-year-old does his dinner, and students that would not even take out their writing utensils. This last group would tell me that they couldn't do the assignment because they didn't know what to do.

Sometimes I would know, sometimes I would not; I am a writer and historian, after all, not a mathematician. It has been over eight years since I squeaked through College Algebra with just high enough marks to have it transfer when I moved and switched schools. Whatever.


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones



For the last class of the day, it was not knowing most often. So when one of the kids who tore through the assignment finished I asked him to help some of the students who were having trouble. This is what he did, no kidding: studiously avoiding those who had not deigned to whip out their pencils, he went to all of the kids that were playing with the assignment and asked if they needed help, then helped or moved on as their response warranted.

I could speculate on and on about how and why this happened, but instead I will merely leave my observation here for your consideration.

R.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Uh-oh, It's Magic

I find that there are almost as many songs with magic as there are fantasy novels with lame magic. Like bad fantasy magic, I grew weary of sifting through lame songs to make this playlist for your listening pleasure. Feel free to skip as you please.

Yesterday I was substituting at a remedial high school, one where everyone there lives in a group home for various reasons and where a few are at about the same reading/writing/counting level as my five-year old. In between doing my best to help those that were willing to accept it an idea hit me that had me wanting to yodel like the freak in Hocus Pocus.


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones



I'm not sure whether I'm elated or horrified, but with sudden clarity I saw a magic system that would meet most all of my overly-critical magic requirements: it would not be a regurgitation of some better (or at least more successful) author's system; it would be grounded in science; it would create more problems than it ever solves for the user. Now I must rework my world to accommodate this new development. It is bittersweet; it will be more work, but it should make the story more marketable. Or something like that.

R.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

So Tired


Tired of opening my browser to Gilly's face. I submit my humble apology to my readers for the many times they (potentially) came here only to find the face of Gilly still at the top. I will write some good posts soon to make up for it. In the mean time I will give you a few random thoughts as is my default when my brain doesn't feel up to writing the post I actually want to write.

Skinny Pants - Substitute teaching has brought me face to face with style. All I can say is skinny pants look bad on girls. They look worse on boys.

Recession - Seeing all those kids decked out in their matching trendy clothes makes me grateful to be a home-schooler. I couldn't afford to send my kids to public school. I'm sure there is a connection between that and our economic crisis.

No Student Left Behind - Except for the ones who are left behind.

If you are reading this, thank you for stopping by in spite of my absence and the looming presence of Gilly.

R.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Some Work

So it looks like I will be starting next week doing some substitute teaching. I will be making less than I have since high school, but at least some money will be coming in. Hopefully I won't run into too many Gillys.

R.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Random Thoughts in January

I'm still around, slinging my resume about as if it were one of Gambit's cards. Still waiting for the bang though.

It has been a month of randonimity and so here are some crazy things that have passed through the eclectic mind of Riotimus.





Get a playlist!
Standalone player
Get Ringtones



  • Speaking of Gambit, I saw a preview that suggests that he will be in the Wolverine movie next summer. Gambit has gone through many interpretations so if any of my fine readers ever followed the X-Men which Gambit would you like to see on the big screen? Or what do you like or dislike about the character?
  • I was recently remembering this post from Blog Ing about Spam. It is one of the funniest things I've ever come across in Blog Land or otherwise. Unfortunately the pictures no longer appear to be active, but maybe Ing will fix it for those of you that haven't been through his archives.
  • I heard a few tunes that I thought I would share. The first, Cath, I loved everything about and was shocked to find that it was by a band I despise. Secondly, Re-Education (through labor) has the coolest name in all songdom and really appeals to my inner eco-social malcontent. Old Enough reminds me of what I was like when I was young and what it is like to have a serious conversation with a youth. It is a shame clarity takes so much time to achieve. None of these bands are favorites of mine, but the songs are.
  • I'm reading The Elfstones of Shannara. I recently finished The Sword of Shannara. I don't understand how The Sword can be so painful experience to read and The Elfstones still live up to my distant memories. Is it that Brooks grew as a writer and story teller? Is it that I can't get past regurgitated Tolkien enough to enjoy Sword? I suppose I may never know.

So that's a bit of what's been on my mind. Have a Merry Monday.

R.