Yeah . . . Right

So Blogger has FORCED me to switch to the new format. I think it sucks. They must think I will be thrilled to enter my damned full e-mail address just to make a comment on blogs I frequent. Well, I'm not feelin' it.

Can you hear me Google? We know you are the Man, and I'm not talking about the good one. We're on to you.

R.

PS I loaded the map because I am considering a crusade against the new Blogger.

Tech Writing and Italian Literature

The other day in my Professional and Technical Writing course we were scheduled to do some peer editing. My instructor said that withholding feedback on work is rude, that "it is actually quite Machiavellian in that if you do you are trying to ensure that you (the student withholding feedback) will get a better grade than the person you are offering to edit." It was a beautiful moment for me and I took great pleasure in the reference to that fine writer from renaissance Italy. Machiavelli is most well known for writing The Prince (not the song covered by Metallica from Garage Inc), an outline of what a leader would need to unite Italy and end the wars between Spain/Holy Roman Empire and France that had been fought on Italian ground for generations. It is a very interesting work, and worth some time and consideration. Machiavelli really outlined the Divine-Right Kings era before it actually happened, ie. Kings like Louis XIV could have been poster boys for The Prince even if they weren't around when it was written. So here's to teachers that can use Machiavellian in a sentence and still make it apply. Write on.

R.

In My Hands

Not only is it a cool song (okay, I suppose it is actually All Within My Hands if you want to be technical) but it was cool to hold it in my hands. I took the 53,000 word edition of Tales from the Laughing Grass and printed it out using MS Word's Book Fold format. It was surreal. Being the frickin' genius that I am, I looked at the stack of paper, than at the mighty appearing paper cutter there in the computer lab, and I proceeded to choppy-choppy. Of course I tried to choppy-choppy the stack all at once. You may be able to imagine how that went. Or you may not. If you can't and you decide to try it to find out, make sure you use scrap paper and not your one of a kind manuscript. Even if it is only one of a kind until you put another buck-and-a-half on your University card so you can print another. Anyways, I trimmed up the carnage as well as I could and swung by Kinkos to see if they could staple or bind it somehow. Because of the massacred edges, however, they deemed it impossible. They said to just let them cut it next time. It will only cost another buck-and-a-half to have them to choppy-choppy and and a few more bucks to bind it in a nice fashion. In spite of the self-imposed setback it felt incredible to hold that stack of stories in my hands and talk with Elyena about how we got to this point. It is very satisfying, even in the face of the work still ahead of us.

With a large handful of submission deadlines coming up, I thought I would throw out my picks for the stuff I'm going to try my hand at in the next little while. I am considering "A Day in the Sun", "The Traveler's Gift", "Toll Man", and "To Turn on One's Own" for upcoming events. Nothing is set in stone. I feel at right now that I am too close to the stories to objectively rate their odds at various venues, but Elyena is trying to help with the issue. Suggestions are welcome.

So that is what is going on in the realm of my writing (besides class work, and my Cather paper was such a hit I don't think I will spend much time here addressing it unless I can't help myself) right now. Write on.

R.

It's Nice to Meet a Goal Now and Then

With the completion of a fun little story I call "The Captaincy", Tales from the Laughing Grass has now exceded 50,000 words. Translated into a book-sized format, that is between 170-210 pages. Not a huge book, I know, but The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde is only 198. O Pioneers by Willa Cather (read the in-depth analysis of some of her work in my archives) is about the same, so I am excited. It is also long enough that if I had made it there earlier I could have sent it in to the Jefferson Press Fiction Book Contest (I probably wouldn't have, for various reasons, but it was a goal none-the-less). So anyways, the stories keep stacking up. Thank you to all of you that have edited or otherwise encouraged my efforts in this regard. Write On.

R.

On Good Behavior

So my boss' laptop took the old lead sleeping tablet. That in itself may not be bad. However, as it were, he has selected to work at the computer terminal right in front of mine on this day. "It could be worse," you are thinking, and you're right. He could be sitting behind me. Except that with that same wisdom that led me to select the back-most seat back in my school days (the ones where I was a kid, not the ones where I had kids) I selected the the back-most desk. Yes, it's true. So here I am, struggling to keep my muscle-relaxented brain focused on productivity while his big black cloud hangs over my corner of the workspace. Even so.

Write on.

R.

The Problem of Metallica

. . . or “Oh yeah, this is my favorite album.” So I was listening to …And Justice for All on my way back to work this afternoon, and as the title track dropped into that crunching post-solo grind I thought to myself, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” But then I had a series of flashbacks: me, listening to the amazing solo work of the title track to Ride the Lightning and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the down-tuned clean riffage in The Unnamed Feeling (St. Anger) and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the ominous riff to Kill ‘em All’s Seek and Destroy and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the first minute of The Prince off Garage, Inc. and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the funky, yet moving, introduction to Fixxxer from Reload and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to the deft slide work on Mama Said from Load and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE,” (except for Ain’t My B**** and 2X4, which I despise). Me, listening to the incredible live opening to -Human from S&M and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE,” (again, not really, because I think it is overkill, but the new songs that were actually designed for Symphony and Metallica are lovely). Me, listening to the tremolo soaked rhythm part in Welcome Home (Sanitarium) from Master of Puppets and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” Me, listening to Kirks solo on Don’t Tread on Me (Black Album) and thinking, “Self, this has got to be the greatest album Metallica ever did. IT’S MY FAVORITE.” I could have just as easily used the descending melody in Astronomy, or the harminized solo from Nothing Else Matters (which really did nothing for me until I saw them perform it live once), or the monster riffage from For Whom the Bell Tolls, the incredible intro to Devil's Dance, or the non-stop assault of Disposable Heroes (all 8:16 of it).

I’m guessing that you can see the trend. I don’t think I am alone in this. I think it is a problem for Metallica fans worldwide. What is a rarely-stop rocker to do though? For now I think I will just set my computer to play all the Metallica in its library. And if you decide to do the same, then Right On. Er, Write On. Even so.

R.

In the Mail

In the mail indeed. In the end, the lovely Elyena and I decided to send WotF a short story trilogy that we called Suffer the Child. It is made up of the stories "The Wasted Portion", "To Turn on One's Own", and "A New Guardian" and tells the riveting tale of the pre-Captain's wrestle with acceptance, morality, and authority. It is a charming, if violent, story. I am sure you are asking yourself, "Self, how many times does the pre-Captain get his bum kicked in this episode?" I'll give you a complete rundown of the incident statistics (+/- 25%).

Corpses: 6

Snubbings: 7

Smacktalk: 4

Smackdowns (the pre-Captain): 2

Smackdowns (someone else): 5

Cleaning up the baby: 2

Groupthink (the product of a mob of people) actually leading to something good: 1 (I know you're skeptical, but it could happen)

Getting knocked around by horses: 2

Romantic moments: 0

Asking for directions: 2

So that is Suffer the Child told statistically. Was it edifying? Satisfying? Horrifying? I found that to be an interesting experiment myself. Someone who has read the prose may disagree with my numbers, but like a professional statician I allowed enough of a margin of error that they don't mean anything anyways.

I also sent out ADIS to face the Kurt Vonnegut Fiction Prize challenge. While WotF should have results back in 10-15 weeks, I have no idea on the KVFP. Since it is annual, I suppose they could deliberate for a year on it. We shall see. Both contests publish winners and offer a satisfying cash prize.

So, Write On. And I will too.

R.